All posts tagged Uncategorized

Let’s talk shit

I have a long and illustrious history of shitting myself. As indeed we all do. After all, our first year or two on this earth is spent doing little else. Entire industries are devoted to containing the rectal issue of generations of infants. And indeed of the elderly, and other […]

Horror, devastation and poorly timed baby visits

You have a baby, and suddenly a lot of people you haven’t seen in months want to come by. I know it’s cute and magical and gorgeous and a gift of loveliness etcetera. But there’s a time and a place for a baby visit. This was not it. There’s baby […]

‘Firstly, I’m a big fan of your work…’

I must be the worst journalist ever. Especially interviews. When I interview someone, I give them the most sweetheart questions you can imagine. It’s like I’m the ZBC interviewing Bob Mugabe. Bands, property developers, beautiful women, men who picked up 28 bricks in one go… I just can’t bring myself […]

Here are my digits…

At first I was 3.1. Kilograms at birth. Birth number 220 of 1973 according to the department of the interior. That’s what the birth certificate tells me – C242325, issued free in respect of persons born on or after 1/1/1960.             In doing so I became 7301195043006, though this would […]

The endgame

“I just worked out what it is! It’s my jacket that’s making me play so bad.” Indeed it is, because when Justin takes off his jacket and stashes it on the shelf next to the jukebox, his play does improve. He sinks six balls without reply, and what began as […]

Video: The Frown: Her name is Eve

The keyboard player could’ve had three heads and we wouldn’t have noticed. The dude on sampler or whatever could’ve had a cock so big he was rolling it around on a rickshaw ride and it would’ve escaped our notice. The guy on the AV vibes we noticed because he was […]

Video: Kendrick Lamar freestyle

A lot of freestyle raps are actually some prepared rhymes with the odd topical phrase thrown in to make it look improvised. But one way to really make sure your boy is freestyling is to throw fresh topics at him while he’s rapping, in the middle of his flow and […]