The Near Misses – The Worst Band In Joburg™


Shambolic five-piece rock band The Near Misses, from Johannesburg, South Africa, have been winning over audiences with their uniquely chaotic Afro-pop garage rock since way back in 2014.

The Near Misses’ naïve innocence, and their raw, dynamic songs, impress all who see them – for better or worse. You either love them, or you utterly despise them, but every punter remembers The Near Misses. They stay with you for life like scars from a skateboard crash in Grade 8.

The band have performed right across the city, appearing at every roach-infested dive bar on the Joburg rock scene, as well as The Bohemian, Smugglers, Rumours, Amuse Café, Wolves and The Good Luck Bar. There have also been pool parties, parking lot gigs and a legendary last-place performance at the Zwartkops Raceway Battle of the Bands.

The Near Misses sound has a bit of Sixties pop in it, some Xhosa traditional vibes, hip-hop, punk, hardcore, classic rock, country and spoken-word poetry. Dub reggae and dancehall feature in the TNM canon, as do grunge, Fifties trash cha-cha, synthpop and Craighall kwassa-kwassa.

Other TNM influences include gayness, motor racing, Charlie Sheen, well-fitting brassieres, ginger DNA, acclaimed music judge Chris V, the great suburb of Pageview and the magnificent Jolly Roger upmarket cocktail bar and gastropub.

The Near Misses live show is consistently outrageous, featuring men in their underpants, electric shocks, bleeding headwounds, fans dancing in motorcycle helmets, and general flabbergasted speechlessness from first-time witnesses.

The Near Misses’ ramshackle charm wins fans at every gig. They’re respected by music lovers and fellow musos alike, for their shows, songwriting and sense of humour, if not their musicianship. If you want musicianship, try Sting. If you want the dopest, funnest night of your life and the sheer booty-shaking joy of Afro-pop-garage-punk music, expose yourself to The Near Misses.Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 10.50.41 PM

The Near Misses have had radio play with kwassa-kwassa tour de force As The Crow Flies and are poised to release their gargantuan debut album Tugs Of Love with a video for the single I’m Not Gay, My Boyfriend Is.


The Near Misses are:

Alistair Anderson (Vocals, tambourine, underpants)

Nick Wilson (Guitar, vocals, punctuality, hygiene)

Rogan Rich (Bass, vocals, bedding, length)

Tom Falkiner (Drums, motor-racing, long, moody walks)

Hagen Engler (Guitar, vocals, drunken piracy)



I’m Not Gay, My Boyfriend Is – The Near Misses

In The Movies – The Near Misses





Hagen 082 825 5272

Writer for television, print and digital, corporate and editorial. Editor and writer of books. Musical performance, spoken word as Inspector Ras. Guitar/vocals for The Near Misses, (Worst Band In JoburgTM). The last whitey at umsebenzi. Latest book 415 Action-Packed Neighbourhood Marketing Tips with Basil O'Hagan, out now. @hagenengler

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