Decadent mouse: Some Twitter malapropisms

“@solphenduka: it shocked me too last night over the phone RT @MbaliMinajJnr : My sisters snoring is unbearable ☹!!! For a 8 year old she can sure raw gees”

@smashafrika: Let the man work up RT @TigerThebe: Work or wake RT @ObusitseSA: Nice! RT @Too_Shortz: I work up at 11:00am every Morning…

I have a full proof plan of how to keep men away from me…just start a conversation about marriage 😀

Have you heard about my plight to raise R10mil for charity? Vid here- bit.ly/X0U77I info 0214868158

Loyalty is scares on these streets – Mtrevula

“@ntsikimazwai: The unequal distribution of wealth adds 2 a LOT of racial tension in SA.When do the whites start paying repatriations?I want my wealth back!”

@GugsM: Umhlobo Wenene? “@SpokyJama: #deathby “Pesi Smash, Cape Town to nowhere”; instead of ‘Percy Sledge, Take Time To Know Her.’ :”-D”

Matters of the heart.. RT @amiimead: It would appear I have failed to learn from passed mistakes. #men #lesbian #nun

@CaliReclined: You just gon say fuck that red squiggly line? RT @SoYeahh_: There are some women that eat their own pluscenter you know, disgusting

@idale: Here here “@byronrode: Pink Floyd. Now that’s music @5FM”

;”>“@leratokganyago: Thank You! RT @RealTechnoGee: Neither the less @leratokganyago is looking hot and no she doesn’t look lyk dat … http://t.co/A877rmsrEI”

@NhlanhlaMsi: Exactly RT @JamilaBuhlalu: His what? RT @NhlanhlaMsi: Wearing his colon. I just don’t know hey.

“@lefaphele: @nealcol , you just never seize to amaze me mate. That’s a wonderful piece. Keep up the good job.”

Touché RT @FlTNESS Women don’t have enough testosterone to bulk up…strength train for lean tone muscles ladies!!

@HagenEngler LMAO!! Haven’t had this in years..hahahahaha….WOW! #hoshnongoloza

“@Arthur999_: Yup RT @ZeusGC: Minnie boasting ratings LOL “@Arthur999_: Please update me when Manchester scores, still watching #SoccerZone4Sho””

“@Flrsi: It’s “en route,” not “on route.” Please don’t make my brain cry.”

“@TaxiDriverSipho: I like toll girls, and they must have yelow bones”

“@mmmphoe: @MelBala neva bn btn by a dog but once saw gogo wakamekhelwane ekaya at Nquthu being beaten by our dog.we were all happy cz we blvd uyaloya”

“@Mngxitama: Anyone going to cape town from jhb(I have small) urgent parcel to send thru). Held a negro!”

“@ZandarVTS: The Boston lockdown is some pretty scary shit. A city of one million under polite martial law is rather unnerving.”

“@CH_Cilliers: The value of an extra “s”. This article just claimed the guests ate decadent mouse at a Tommy Hilfiger launch…”

People make fun of me for misquoting clichés, but it’s just water off a dogs back.

“@khayadlanga: “Childrwen” Ribs just twanged #cotcsa”

“@kazixaji: @SizweDhlomo plz stop….you braking my heart with this Chris talk. Even us #Teambreezy know that he is not getting up from that fall…:(”

RT @chestermissing: Ethnically? Hehehe. Freudian slip ANCWL? “@Troy_Martens: …learn ur rights bcoz many companies dont act ethnically within the law.”

“@hoodhighfashion: My mind is a blaze!!!!”

They wont be missed RT @AwkwardlyH: Elitist+ racist @canarygs: Good riddens to the joburg pride people, they did no awareness anyway”

“@Avukile: Love is also grammerless mos “@mpakie: Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful. However, no your limits.””

@ntsikimazwai: I mean REALLY- how do proudly say ‘I hav 3 kids….that I know of’- ur actually QUITE the BUFFOEN OF THE DECADE!

@GetrudeM: Cosatu’s NW solly phetoe :”they brought the country into distribute (sic)” LOL! #Guptagate

U urk me. -___- RT @TrueStory_SMC: and she better look good doing all those things RT “LootLove: She has to cook, clean, give you kids

RT @2uli: for it to to cuddle me and rub my cons RT @_Zanie: If you paid R44 000 for a bed,what would u expect?

“@NhlanhlaMsi: Its past. RT @Tlhompho: Monet neh? RT @NhlanhlaMsi: That monet when you loose the stopper for your earring. Argh *rolls eyes*”

@mrdaveyd: Theres an old saying; Leapords never change their stripes..I mean spots..Yes the Warriors got new front office, but still-They’ll trade u

“@ZaidJilani: Incite instead of insight makes this better RT @chrislhayes
An important incite about adult life: no one really knows what they’re doing.”

RT @calestous: @r343l @mem_somerville @keithkloor There are really evil people out there who splash their vile onto technology and enterprises.

Writer for television, print and digital, corporate and editorial. Editor and writer of books. Musical performance, spoken word as Inspector Ras. Guitar/vocals for The Near Misses, (Worst Band In JoburgTM). The last whitey at umsebenzi. Latest book 415 Action-Packed Neighbourhood Marketing Tips with Basil O'Hagan, out now. @hagenengler

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