Archive for April 2012

The Illuminati Own Up

In an earth-shattering exclusive, representatives of shadowy global power-broking elite The Illuminati have spoken out about their top-secret power cult. In a no-holds-barred interview, 49th-degree freemason the reverend monsignor Adolf Pius XVI Bush has taken responsiblity for every pogrom since the Renaissance, both World Wars, the sub-prime mortgage crisis and […]

‘Amper se ek poes!’

By Haai van der Skyf If you use the “poes” all the time and are continually shunned and made to feel guilty about it, there may be hope for you. Like don’t feel too poes about it. The People’s Organisation for Endemic Swearwords (POES) has launched a campaign to destigmatise […]

The 11 worst people to catch you wanking

11 Your mom10 The housekeeper9 Your boss8 A potential girlfriend7 An actual girlfriend6 Your girlfriend’s dad, in the pantry at a family braaivleis5 The police4 A woman with an afro in the taxi next to you at the traffic lights corner Bompas and Oxford, whom you bump into sometimes at […]

Ah! Zanexhoba!

“Ah! Zanexhoba!” “Zanexhoba!” The crowd of guests respond! Hail to the king! Hail Zanexhoba! Here present, at home in his kingdom! The land of amaMpondomise. The king himself sits serene on the podium, calmly resplendent in his embroidered robes of raw cotton, a crown of animal skin upon his head. […]

Video: 7FT Soundsystem meets Fletcher!

Our old mate Fletcher out of African Dope is back with more dub deeper than a submarine in philosophy class. It’s a collab with 7ft soundsystem and you can download it. Just click “Download”, mos. Our favourite is this one featuring samples of George W Bush talking kak. The blurb […]

Borderline short! Ha!

I had a recent exchange with a few ladies outside Kitcheners Bar in Braamfontein. In between grooving to Kid Fonque and waiting for Blk Jks to start already, we began comparing heights. Anele believed she was the tallest person in our group. I had to disabuse her of that notion […]

Video: Two pieces of cake

So this blackface cake controversy. When I heard, via the always aware @sa_poptart (aka Charl Blignault) on Twitter that the initial pic of the Swedish culture minster Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth cutting the cake was part of an installation art performance, my opinion of it changed.  When I first saw the image, […]

How to meet a woman

The below is some advice I found on a thread on the Reddit sex feed. The excellent advice was posted by an older guy named Prolapsed Pinealin response to some poor dude calling himself  libidothrowaway73, who is still a virgin at 23. He is considering just posting on a hook-up site […]

Forensic police recapture lost words of blind author!

A novel by a blind writer! Wouldn’t you love to read something like that? So would she! No, I’m not being insensitive, I’m about to tell you the heart-warming case of Trish Vickers. The 58-year-old Ms Vickers, of Lyme Regis, Dorset, recently lost her sight, but bursting with creativity, she […]