Archive for March 2012

Lobes make the man: distinguishing features

We were checking out Sophie Ndaba’s teeth on Generations the other day, when we realised that was exactly the thing that made us like her. We’ve been carrying a torch for uQueen for decades, and never been able to put our finger on why. Meanwhile it’s her massive teeth! It’s […]

This is more like it!

When it comes to dystopian sci-fi depictions of alienated youth, Hagen’s House would just like to say, Jennifer Lawrence is more the kind of thing one looks for in a prospective sex symbol. The sight of Kirsten Stewart – and Rob Pattinson, for that matter – had us seriously worried. […]

Video: Demon hand-off!

This is Waratah’s lock Dean Mumm’s monster fend against Marcel Coetzee in the ‘Tahs’ 34-30 Super Rugby win against the Sharks. At one stage the Sharks opened up an 11-point lead over the Waratahs, but they let the home team back into it, as they scored three quick tries, for […]

Travels with my ballbag

I would’ve inspected myself for lumps, but my right ball was too painful too touch. It was pretty obvious that I was dying of testicular cancer. I reported to my doctor on the Monday and gave him the bad news. He wasn’t quite so sure. “It’s probably epididymitis,” he yawned, […]

Video: Worst rap video ever

A combination of the worthy message, utter absence of any talent and the fact that everyone is wearing the same T-shirts makes this abomination the worst video I can ever remember seeing. I may have seen worse, but at the moment I choose not to dwell on that. It’ll take […]

Degrees of Wikipedia

It’s a simple game. The idea is to get from a particular Wikipedia page, to another, seemingly unrelated one, in as few clicks as possible. So, for instance, let’s start on the Wikipedia page for DJ Premier, which I happen to be on right now. And then we need to […]


“Been up for six days, smellin’ like a moose!” It’s Dondada, freestyling on his stoop in the hood on a version of “Married To These Streets”, complete with melodic hooks and all.] Here’s Eminem in his freestyle rhyme mode. “you wanna mess with a mother who skydives out […]

With my broken face across the Drakensberg

In a recent soccer match, I kicked the ball at exactly the same instant as an opponent, then found myself pitched forward into his shoulder, breaking my face. I believe I cracked my left cheekbone. There was a week of exquisite pain, and a blue-ish, off-green bruise that gradually abated. […]

Surely they will open soon

Water. I work with water. Water engineer. And now I miss the meeting this morning. The whole reason I come to South Africa. I come to meet with State water authority, what you call, Howteng? Gowteng?             Swiss. I’m from Switzerland. I wait two weeks for this meeting and now […]