Settle-down time for the people of the South

The South is a strange place to most people, but if you come from there, it’s like home. Not, like Rosettenville, more Oakdene, Bassonia. Me and my mates all still stay there. We grew up together, and we still there.

There’s houses in Glen Vista that are about R900 000 for a two-bedroom townhouse. That’s not cheap, hey. It’s the same as Bedfordview, boet.

But we all still there. We can just call each other up and braai. It’s not like the one oke’s staying Honeydew and the other guy’s in Illovo or whatever. We all still there where we went to school. I’m renting a place in Mondeor… It’s lekker in the South. It’s probably a bit like the Eastern Cape. Okes are genuine, you know what I mean?

We all used to play roller-hockey together. There in the parking lot of The Glen shopping centre. And we still all staying there near each other.

It’s just… Yussie, that commute’s killing me. You know, boet, I leave at seven on the dot to get here by nine. And if I’m five minutes late, you can add another half hour to that. Two and a half hours, boet! Just to get to Sandton!

It’s a joke, man.

But I’m 26 now and I always said I wanna have lighties before I’m thirty. It’d be lekker to be able to play with my lighties. Even my grandkids. My one mate’s grandpa even comes and plays seven-a-side football with us sometimes. It’s lekker, that. The guy’s in his sixties, but he can play football with his grandson.

I’ve just gotta propose some time this year. Then we got two years to hang out, and we can have kids before I’m thirty.

She’s just started working here in Sandton, so I’m waiting for her to crack. I’m saying nothing. It’s been three weeks so far, but I can check she’s getting moeg. That commute’s starting to get to her. Two hours to Sandton. Two hours back. I’m just waiting for her to suggest that we buy a place here in the north.

And then it’s on. We get a place in, like, Parkmore. Have you checked that place? It’s not so steep. It’s about a mil and a half for a three-bed place. And close to Sandton, boet. Five minutes!

I’ve always said, I must have my own house when I get married. You know what I mean? You can’t bring your wife home to a rented flat. I scheme by the time we got a place here in Sandton, I’ll propose.

Kim, Her name’s Kim. Also from the South. I’m a proper South boytjie, boet. But it’s time for a oke to get serious now. You know what I mean?

It’s time to settle down now.

Writer for television, print and digital, corporate and editorial. Editor and writer of books. Musical performance, spoken word as Inspector Ras. Guitar/vocals for The Near Misses, (Worst Band In JoburgTM). The last whitey at umsebenzi. Latest book 415 Action-Packed Neighbourhood Marketing Tips with Basil O'Hagan, out now. @hagenengler

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